Defining happiness would greatly vary from person to person. Although the four most common examples of what would make someone happy are; traveling, finanical stability, the ideal spouse and body perfection. We will call these the “blueprint.” Understand this, when you start becoming introspective and recognizing what makes you happy, whatever that may be, it is subjective to you. Perhaps what makes you happy would also bring the same emotions to others but the very definition of happiness would be personal to you.
Extrapolating from that, happy or being happy derives from pleasure. Either physical or emotional pleasure. Essentially, the question would then become, what would bring you the most pleasure in your life? Once again, that would be a subjective answer. According to Conan, what’s best in life is: “crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.” Perhaps to a very selective few warrior psychopaths, this might be true but to 99% of the worlds population, what brings Conan the most pleasure would not be categorized as a good time.
Inversely, ask yourself what would bring you the most displeasure in your life? Would the opposite of the blueprint fit that model? Most people who are unsatisfied with any one of those facets of their lives tend to fixate on not being able to change what they do not like. A common example of this would be someone who works at a job they do not like. This person has the regular amount of bills, the average body figure and is single. They feel like they do not have time in the day to look for a different job and get into better shape. They say things like, “it is just to expensive to eat healthy” and use that as an excuse to continue eating poorly. They are insecure about themselves and they use that as a krutch not to date. Break that down. That person is unsatisfied in every aspect of the blueprint.
We all exhibit some type of characteristics of being bipolar. We are never always happy and we are never always sad. Semantically speaking, to be truly bipolar one would need to also be manic and show signs of psychosis. Generally speaking, we all experience states of mind that or unequal to each other. Perhaps some stay in one of those states longer than others but eventually you will experience something that will cause you displeasure and or pleasure and you will become either balanced or unbalanced. Knowing that our state of mind will change on what causes us pleasure or displeasure, how will that knowledge help us?
No one enjoys being in those moments of displeasure and sorrow. Besides the adverse of the blueprint, there can be collimating factors causing displeasure. Whatever causes you to get into that state of mind, understand that, that is exactly what it sounds like. A state of mind. Your consciousness shifted in a way that brings negative emotions. Sadness speaking physiologically, the chemicals in your brain have become unbalanced. Psychologically speaking, you are dwelling on the negative. Whatever that is to you.
Remember that person who is still working at that job they don’t like? What if that person shifted the way think towards the blueprint. Remember them saying that healthy food is too expensive so they continue to eat poorly? What if that person managed their finances better and they found that they could start eating healthier. It was that little shift in the way they viewed how they spend money. That person decided that eating healthier was worth the time to figure out where they could spend less on. They made a conscious decision, that they were tired of feeling displeasure about not eating healthier so they quit fixating on the negative and acted positively. That person has now figured out how to change the blueprint for themselves. They are now finding time at work to make phone calls in an effort to find a different job. Going to the gym right after they get off now allows them the ability to get into better shape. All it took was a little shift in the way they thought about their discomforts.
The idea that there is a blueprint to happiness is a fallacy. I used that as an analogy because many people believe that they need certain things in their lives to be happier. Perhaps those four examples that we used would bring you pleasure, but none of those last forever. A caveat to that is; the emotions you experienced during any one of those times, those feelings will not last forever either. The key is to constantly strive for things that you enjoy doing and what will make you happier in your life. Whatever you dwell on negatively, those things that you wish you could do, go do them. Quit thinking negatively and think positively in every aspect of your life. Change your blueprint and figure out ways to go accomplish what you would like to do. You may find that the journey is almost as good as the destination. Or in certain cases, the journey alone will become your destination. Finding that everything that you worked so hard for, what you learned about yourself along the way is priceless and more valuable than what you reached for.
Happiness is a mindset. It is a believe. Just like that person who struggled with eating healthier and finding a different job, once they changed their belief system they started experiencing more pleasure in their life. Not saying that they did not go through some sort of adversity along the way. Adversity does not just build character, it strips away your ego and allows you to see who you truly are. If you do not like the person you see, if you do not like the state of mind you are living in, change it. Of course it is not as easy as flipping a light switch on and off. Begin with becoming introspective and understanding what makes you happy and unhappy. Find out what causes you pleasure and displeasure. You do not have to write all of that down but instead start small. In your everyday life, what could you change to help you gain a little more pleasure? Change whatever that is and see what happens. From there, there will be no stopping you. Happiness is not a material possession. Happiness is a mindset that rests within the mind’s eye. – Z
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